EP96: When You Don't See Yourself as a Leader
HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF MATTERS
If you don’t see yourself as a leader, how can others?
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(The notes below are only a brief summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email request to: angie@angie-robinson.com. We’d be happy to provide that!)
Leadership is not about a title - it’s about behaviors. It's really about developing the potential in others, even when the others don't see the potential. It's really getting the best out of people. It's creating a vision and inspiring others and developing others. Everybody can be a leader.
However, when you do have a title in an organization or in your own business, that does typically come with the expectation of being a leader.
As I work with leaders - I have had several of them tell me that they don’t actually see themselves as a leader. I think it is something that we need to dig into a little bit.
Here is the first thing I want to call out: if you don't see yourself as a leader - how will others?
We have to have our own self belief in order to actually show up in an authentic sustainable way. If you don't see yourself as a leader, you're not going to show up in ways that others will see you as a leader either.
What does showing up as a leader actually mean? There are a lot of definitions and lists of attributes available. I have my own list that I see as common behaviors of leaders:
Focuses on goals
Influences and encourages
Sees the big picture
Innovates
Inspires trust
Fosters ideas
Empowers others
Creates vision
Inspires change
You can't really “check the box” on something like ‘inspires trust’. Something like that is an ongoing thing by the way that you approach people, the way that you listen, how you honor differences. Something like inspiring trust is going to look a little bit different for every single person based on their own strengths and personality styles and all the things that they bring to the table.
So when someone says “I don't see myself as a leader”, I'll ask the question: “what does ‘being a leader’ mean to you?” And I'll have them think of somebody that they would consider to be a ‘good leader’ and list out all those attributes. When we do that, oftentimes they have a list of attributes that they see a ‘good leader’ has. And then I'll ask: “Do you think you exhibit these behaviors?” The answer is usually “yes”.
I like to talk about personality preferences via the language of Insights (my favorite personality assessment tool). It is what I use in my one-on-one coaching - so my clients really understand it. (Two podcast episodes about Insights are linked at the end of this post).
The colors are described as Fiery Red, Sunshine Yellow, Earth Green and Cool Blue. Here are a few high-level characteristics of each color energy:
Fiery Red is usually focused on results and shows up with a strong and purposeful determination.
Sunshine Yellow radiates enthusiasm and encourages participation.
Earth Green energy often seeks harmony and meaningful relationships.
Cool Blue has a desire to know and understand the world with accurate and complete information.
We all have all four color energies in us - with one being more dominant.
What seems to be a common misconception - especially from those who don’t see themselves as a leader - is that leader = fiery red energy. Often times, in my experiences, its those that lead with earth green energy who especially think that.
But here's the thing, being a leader isn't saved for that fiery red energy.
Everybody can be a leader with what you bring to the table, just as you are. In my coaching, that's exactly where we start. We clean up all the thoughts that are really unhelpful about why you don't see yourself as a leader or why you don't think that you can be a leader.
Try this: make a list of who you think Is a good leader that you would aspire to be. Determine what you think their lead color energy (Insights) is.
When I do this with clients - it is actually pretty fascinating. There are usually some on the list that might lead with fiery red. And…. there are some that lead with other color energies, including green.
This really helps to shift perspective. You can really start to see that you are a leader based on what you bring to the table. We can then dig into what you do bring! What are your strengths? How are you leveraging those? It's really important to get specific and how you're leveraging those strengths and where they show up in your leadership behaviors.
And where do those strengths maybe get in your way? It's getting really clear about that. It's not beating yourself up. It's not judging yourself. If you were to improve on those, how would that impact your leadership? When you are aware of it, then you can be on to yourself when it's happening.
Doing all of this really can help in your own self belief that you are a leader.
The other thing I love to do is look at all the attributes of all the different (Insights) styles and determine what are the things that would really enhance your leadership that might not be natural to you. Just because something doesn't come natural doesn't mean we can't do it. You can ‘dial up’ and ‘dial down’ any color energy, any kind of behavior that you want to any time. It might be uncomfortable, but that's okay. The more we do things, the less uncomfortable it is. And just knowing that you have the ability, the capability, to do whatever it is that you truly want to, uncomfortable or not, knowing that our little brains are gonna offer us all these limiting beliefs and watch outs and whatever in its way to protect us, we still can do it.
Learning to manage your brain and shifting your self-belief is so magical. It's so powerful. The way you show up will be different You’ll show up as the leader that you believe you are, and all of a sudden others believe that you are a leader too.
Show Yourself That You Are A Leader
So, if you catch yourself saying, “I don't see myself as a leader” (or really, any other word) - reflect on the things above.
Decide what it means to be a leader in your mind. How do you define that? Ask questions like: What else could be true? What am I missing? You will start to create evidence that any person can be any of these things at any time.
Spend some time on your own strengths. What are you bringing to the table? What can you leverage in order to help you be that person that you want to be?
Ask where those strengths might also be getting in your way and holding you back. What areas of opportunity might be less helpful? We're doing this from a nonjudgmental place. We all have areas of opportunity, things we can work on, weaknesses that are kind of holding us back. What are those? And how can we shift and make some improvements in those areas in, in service of becoming that person that we want to be?
Think about how you can dial up and dial down any behavior that you need to in order to be that leader, that CEO, that person.
Decide ahead of time how you will manage your brain when your brain starts offering you unhelpful thoughts.
I believe you are a leader. You need to believe it as well.
What Do You Think?
Do you see yourself as a leader? If not - why?
Links
Episode 17: Understanding Your Personality Through Insights
Episode 18: Connecting With Others Through Insights
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