Episode 59: [Book Recap] Take-Aways from "Wolfpack"
Own Your Power…
…and live and lead by a new set of rules. This is when we will really reach success - collectively.
Enjoy!
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(The notes below are only a brief summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email request to: angie@angie-robinson.com. We’d be happy to provide that!)
In this podcast episode - I give a recap along with share my thoughts on the book “Wolfpack: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game” by Abby Wambach.
I love the hear others’ stories and the learnings that come out of their experience. I appreciate different perspectives and seeing how they apply to my own leadership and also sharing them with you! Much of what Abby Wambach shares in this book centers around the thoughts that she had around her experiences and how those thoughts were critical on the next step and/or the outcome.
It’s because of this that I wanted to share a few of my biggest take-aways with you. You can decide if my take-aways mean anything to your own leadership path or career path. If it does seem like something you’d like to dig into more – I encourage you to read the whole book (or listen to the audio version).
WHO IS ABBY WAMBACH?
(direct from the book) “Abby Wambach is a two-time Olympic gold medalist, FIFA World Cup champion, and the highest all-time international goal scorer for the male and female soccer players. She is an activist for equality and inclusion and the New York Times bestselling author of Forward: A Memoir. Aby is co-founder of Wolfpack Endeavor, which is revolutionizing leadership development for women in the workplace and beyond through her champion mind-set, individualized coaching, and team-bound focus. Abby lives in Florida with her wife (Glennon Doyle) and three children,
Abby is also a part of the “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast along with her wife, Glennon and Glennon’s sister, Amanda. Another podcast I highly recommend!
Because of who the book was written by and who the book is more directly talking to – you will notice that I’m mostly talking to women. Actually – I was immediately struck by the “Note to Reader” that Abby has at the beginning of the book.
Note to Reader: “Since I identify as a woman, this book is written from a woman’s point of view. The leadership ideas, however, are universal. Recently, on a call with a company hiring me to teach about leadership, a man said, “Excuse me, Abby, I just need to ensure that what you present is applicable to men, too.” I said, “Good question! But only if you’ve asked every male speaker you’ve hired if his message is applicable to women, too.” Women have had to find themselves within content presented from the male perspective forever. It’s essential to flip this and allow men the opportunity to find themselves within content presented from a women’s perspective.”
“My dream is that people of every gender – as well as people between or beyond gender – will find themselves in these pages. My hope is that this book becomes a leap forward for humankind.”
I couldn’t love this more. As a woman who has created a career in leadership and about leadership - it is true that much of my learning has been from the perspective of the male lens. I’ve often shied away of teaching leadership from my lens of being a woman.
So even though I’m also more directly talking to women – men…listen up. My experience is as a women. But that doesn’t mean that much of this wouldn’t resonate with men. And – it’s always beneficial to hear from and understand the perspective of someone who is not like you.
THE BOOK
Here is a bit of the premise for the book: Abby was asked to deliver a commencement speech to Barnard College’s 126th graduating class. Barnard College is a private women's liberal arts college in the borough of Manhattan in New York City.
As she was thinking about this speech - the foundation for her speech was fueled by the divisive nature of America – and how the “landscape of America was overrun with archaic ways of thinking about gender, race, sexuality, rich and poor, and the environment.” Her focus for what she wanted to share with Barnard – where the directive was to “unleash their individuality, unite the collective, and change the landscape – was inspired by a TEDTalk Abby had watched about the wolves of Yellowstone National Park. Watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysa5OBhXz-Q&t=85s
Her takeaway was this: “Women – who are feared by many to be a threat to our system – will become our society’s salvation. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. WE. ARE. THE. WOLVES.”
The message of the book is that women must stop following the Old Rules, which exist only to maintain the status quo. If we follow the rules we’ve always followed, the game with remain the same. Old ways of thinking will never help us build a new world. Out with the old and in with the new. And I would say that this mentality about stop following the old rules could apply to thinking about how leaders lead as well.
Abby lays out 8 new rules that will change the game. Each is structured with an overarching “theme”. She describes the rule and the Old Rule, the New Rule and the “Call to the Wolfpack”. I’m going to share all of this – and add my own additional thoughts. For the full description and more in depth examples - you can listen to the episode or read the book!
RULE ONE: You Were Always the Wolf
Old Rule: Stay on the Path (Little Red Riding Hood)
New Rule: Create Your Own Path
Call to the Wolfpack: Wear what you want. Love who you love. Become what you image. Create what you need. You were never Little Red Riding Hood. You were always the Wolf.
Angie’s Addition: Honor who you are. Be intentional. Decide you want to be and bring awareness to the gaps. Leverage your values and strengths, and work on the areas of improvement and blind spots. Trust in yourself.
RULE TWO: Be Grateful AND Ambitious
Old Rule: Be grateful for what you have.
New Rule: Be grateful for what you have AND demand what you deserve.
Call to the Wolfpack: Be grateful. But do not JUST be grateful. Be grateful AND brave. Be grateful AND ambitious. Be grateful AND righteous. Be grateful AND persistent. Be grateful AND loud. Be grateful for what you have AND demand what you deserve.
Angie’s Addition: Watch the energy you are coming from – is it defensive? Is it malicious? Or is it from confidence or self-love / self-confidence? I’m not saying it’s wrong to be ‘angry’ – but you may be looking for external validation or expecting something from someone else - which many not get you the results you are looking for.
RULE THREE: Lead from the Bench
Old Rule: Wait for permission to lead.
New Rule: Lead now – from wherever you are.
Call to the Wolfpack:
If you have a voice, you have influence to spread.
If you know young people, you have futures to mold.
If you have privilege, you have power to share.
If you have money, you have support to give.
If you have a ballot, you have policy to shape.
If you have pain, you have empathy to offer.
If you have freedom, you have others to fight for.
If you are alive, you are a leader.
Angie’s Addition: Dig into what it means to be a leader – for you. What shaped that belief? Is there any room to reshape it? How can you live into YOUR leadership style? What difference would that make for you (your results) and for others?
RULE FOUR: Make Failure Your Fuel
Old Rule: Failure means you’re out of the game.
New Rule: Failure means you’re finally IN the game.
Call to the Wolfpack: Try. Fail. Feel it burn. Then transform Failure into your Fuel.
Angie’s Addition: Expect failure. As a matter of fact – embrace it. Long for it. Desire it. When you shift the mindset around failure – you shift how you handle it.
RULE FIVE: Champion Each Other
Old Rule: Be against each other.
New Rule: Be FOR each other.
Call to the Wolfpack: Her victory is your victory. Celebrate with her. Your victory is her victory. Point to her.
Angie’s Addition: We really have been conditioned to be in competition. Where do you notice it? The gym? The office? The one seat at the table? And that conditioning – those thoughts – lead to comparison - which is normal for the human brain. But what do you want to do with that comparison?
RULE SIX: Demand the Ball
Old Rule: Play it safe. Pass the ball.
New Rule: Believe in yourself. Demand the ball.
Call to the Wolfpack: Believe in yourselves. Stand up and say: GIVE ME THE EFFING BALL. GIVE ME THE EFFING JOB. GIVE ME THE SAME PAY THAT THE GUY NEXT TO ME GETS. GIVE ME THE PROMOTION. GIVE ME THE MICROPHONE. GIVE ME THE OVAL OFFICE. GIVE ME THE RESPECT I DESERVE – AND GIVE IT TO MY WOLFPACK TOO.
Angie’s Addition: Be unapologetic. If you are a people pleaser – don’t give into that. If it’s to make someone else comfortable – it’s probably not the best focus.
RULE SEVEN: Bring It All
Old Rule: Lead with dominance. Create followers.
New Rule: Lead with humanity. Cultivate leaders.
Call to the Wolfpack: Claim your power, and bring along our full humanity. Clear the way for others to do the same. Because what our families, our companies, and the world needs in nothing more – and nothing less – than exactly who we are.
Angie’s Addition: Bring the full humanity – YES! We are a whole person, with actual human needs adn emotions. Honor that - don’t hide that.
RULE EIGHT: Find Your Pack
Old Rule: You’re on your own.
New Rule: You’re not alone. You’ve got your Pack.
Call to the Wolfpack: Life is not meant to be lived as a Lone Wolf. We all need a Pack.
Angie’s Addition: Humans are wired for connection. Find those connections - the ones that fuel you. The ones that challenge and drive you.
What do you think?
Have you read this book? What are your biggest take-aways? What new rule resonates with you most? How will you shift to operating under that new rule?
Links
TedTalk Blog: The Wolves of Yellowstone
Podcast Episode: Your Relationship with Comparison
Podcast Episode: You (Beyond the Leader)
Podcast Episode: We’re All in This Together
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