Episode 58: Breaking Through [Self-Imposed] Limitations
It’s Time To Decide!
Decide to no longer believe the lies that create [self-imposed] limitations and soar!
Enjoy!
Listen Here:
(The notes below are only a brief summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email request to: angie@angie-robinson.com. We’d be happy to provide that!)
In this episode - we talk about how to break through [self-imposed] limitations. These limitations are things that prohibit us – or at least make it more difficult – to realize our actual potential and live into the highest version of ourselves.
I’m putting the words “self-imposed” in parenthesis because I realize that there are several contributing factors to limitations – like things what we were taught, things we were told, societal expectations and ‘norms’ and deeply ingrained systemic issues like racism, sexism, homophobia, ageism, gender bias, etc. And I also must acknowledge that many of those things I mentioned can go deep and can actually be unsafe and/or significantly difficult for impacted individuals to just ‘overcome.’
What I am talking about in this installment are those limitations that we can have control and power over. And the reason that I say ‘self-imposed’ (in parenthesis) is because – even though there might be some external factors that contribute to the creation of the limitation - when we choose to believe them and not take action to challenge them – that choice makes them self-imposed (yes - I’m treading a little lightly on that!).
Here are some examples:
Believing that you will never be under x pounds or size x.
Believing that you can only be with a certain type of person in a relationship.
Believing that you won’t make more than x in salary.
Believing that you could never be in a certain role (i.e. a VP or a CEO or a business owner).
Believing that you are too old or too young to do x.
Notice some of the limiting, unuseful words in those examples: never, only, won’t, too
These are things that I’ve had clients come to me with (often unbeknownst to them – as if they are stating the news – the truth). The good news is this – they are just thoughts. And all thoughts are optional.
I know it’s not that simple….so let’s talk more about it.
How do these [self-imposed] limitations come about?
Again – there are several factors that contribute to these limitations. I am going to put them into four bullets – realizing that there could be more, but these are the common ones:
What you’ve seen modeled by others, even from a young age.
Being subject to the systems that have been put in place (and believe them as the ‘only’ way).
Having tried things and have ‘failed’ – make that mean that it’s not worth it, you’re a failure, etc.
Internalize other people’s opinions, rules, feedback (from parents, company, society)
If you let these things decide for you…believe them….hold them as truth – you have ‘self-imposed’ limitations. It might not feel good – but you truly don’t think there is any other way. Other possibilities just do not seem possible.
What is the impact of [self-imposed] limitations?
When we truly believe these “lies” (i.e. the lie that you are less capable than you really are), then:
You may not pursue opportunities. As a matter of fact – the possibilities actually become narrower – which could, in your eyes, provide evidence that you are limited. When you think you can only make a certain salary or getting a certain level of role – you won’t even entertain opportunities outside of those self-imposed parameters. As a matter of fact – you might even get more comfortable in that space – making the possibility of something else seem even less likely.
You don’t make change.
You don’t see failure as a gift.
You don’t allow yourself to dream big.
You play small. Leaders and entrepreneurs who don’t take risks or who get stuck because of a fear of failure aren’t able to embody a growth mindset. That sets the pace and tone for the team culture – which can equate to lack of innovation, energy, and drive. Most employees don’t really want to be a part of that type of culture. You can see the web that creates.
You rob the world of what you really have to offer. When you aren’t in a place of happiness, satisfaction, full potential – it can diminish your energy, your engagement, your output, your impact on those around you.
How can we break through [self-imposed] limitations?
Bring awareness to the limitations – without judgement.
Allow and process any emotions that are there – but don’t get stuck in it.
Change your language (stop using words like “can’t”, “don’t”, “won’t”, “only”).
DECIDE you want to break through the limitations. Decide you want something different. Decide that you are willing to challenge yourself. Decide you are open to not believing these ‘lies’.
Be clear on what you really want and what it will look like to succeed. Your desire to become has to outweigh your fear, doubt, etc.
Look for evidence of accomplishments without limitations in the past and when you didn’t let failure stop you.
Keep the focus on you - your desires, your decisions and what you will tolerate from yourself (not others).
Ask yourself really good questions, like: Why is this a problem? What else might be true? What would I do if I wasn’t afraid? What would I do if nobody else was around?
Tap into the future version of yourself. Become that person today. Don’t worry as much about the “Big How” – just decide on the next best step and do that.
Do and then believe.
Review and celebrate.
Have your own back.
What do you think?
What limitations have you put on yourself? What is the one next best step you can take to break through them?
Links
Please leave a review in Apple Podcasts + share with a friend
It will help others find the podcast - the more leaders we can impact - the better our workplaces and lives will be!
Schedule a FREE Discovery Call
Click here to schedule some time - let’s talk about how we can work together through one-on-one coaching, Insights Discovery workshops or other leadership development work!