I Am Awake: Inequity + Injustice
On May 25, 2020, George Floyd, a Black man in Minneapolis, was senselessly killed at the hands of four police officers. A mere 20 miles away from my suburban home. A repeat of an act that has happened to so many others in the Black community. So many emotions are being experienced - from anger, fear and sadness to love, hope and compassion. The country and the world have responded loudly and will continue to respond with the rightful expectation of real and systemic change.
I, too, am processing and reacting in ways that only I can own. I am both standing united with People of Color and supporting our first responders and law enforcement. I am fighting against injustice and praying for connection, unity and love. I am reflecting on my upbringing, my beliefs, my privilege and my complacently. I am listening and learning. I am taking a hard look inside so I can do better outside - in my home, in my community, in my business and in the world.
I am awake.
This past spring, before George Floyd was killed, I had started reading the book “Becoming” by Michelle Obama. Her book is a memoir where she shares the story of her roots, her upbringing, her experience with politics, her time in the White House, her role as a mother and how she found her voice.
Reading about her experience with racism was hard to process. I remember thinking how horrible it is that there is still racism in our country. And how I always feel such pain about ALL of the inequality and mistreatment in our country pertaining to race, gender, sexual orientation, pay disparity, economic status….and the list goes on.
But now, as I am examining my own role in our country’s racial injustice and inequities – one of the first truths that has risen to the surface for me is this: I have been too silent.
I used to think that I was doing my part by not laughing when someone told a racial joke, by [sometimes passively] calling someone out when using demeaning language or a racial slur, by being dedicated to my work in leadership and Human Resources [supporting and upholding non-discrimination policies, affirmative action programs and diversity + inclusion efforts and facilitating training sessions about self-awareness and differences]. These are all good things, but now I ask myself if I have done enough.
My answer is no.
I am awake to the fact that I haven’t used my voice enough. I haven’t pushed hard enough, especially when it is uncomfortable or when I worry about saying the wrong thing or “ruffling feathers” or hurting others’ feelings. These reasons, these excuses, only serve me – they do not serve the greater good. The do not serve those who experience unjust treatment and racist policies every day. My internal anguish pales to the real suffering of so many people. I recognize that I rarely have converted my feelings into meaningful action.
Silence is not acceptable.
So now, I am looking inward, and I am looking deep. I am working to uncover and recognize my own biases and learn from the mistakes I have made [and that I will undoubtedly continue to make]. I am starting by watching videos and lectures about racial issues. I am starting by reading books. I am digging into history to gain perspective of how we got here. I am working to understand my privilege - what that really means. I am preparing to have uncomfortable conversations. And I am learning to amplify my voice. Not as an expert, but as an ally.
I am doing this because I want to be a part of the change. I am doing this because I want to teach my kids so they can be a part of the change. I am doing this because all people deserve to be treated as unique and loving humans. I am doing this because I want to help create policy and ideas that do not have racist or bias edges. I am doing this because our differences deserve to be celebrated, not oppressed.
This work is my responsibility and I will own that.
I finished reading “Becoming” a few nights after George Floyd’s death, as protests and looting continued in the Twin Cities.
The following is the last paragraph of the Epilogue. Michelle Obama’s words are powerful. And through the lens of the year 2020, even more impactful than ever to me. As you read them, take notice of what stirs inside of you.
“And here is what I have to say, finally: Let’s invite one another in. Maybe then we can begin to fear less, to make fewer wrong assumptions, to let go of the biases and stereotypes that unnecessarily divide us. Maybe we can better embrace the ways we are the same. It’s not about being perfect. It’s not about where you get yourself in the end. There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there’s grace in being willing to know and hear others. This, for me, is how we become.”
I invite you to join me in this: practice grace and compassion for yourself and others, continue to listen, continue to learn, challenge yourself, embrace vulnerability and amplify your voice. I plan to be an active part of the change. I hope you will join me.
I will support you and walk beside you with love. We will stumble, but we will also progress. We have the gift of continual evolution where we get to make choices, celebrate our wins and learn from our errors. And keep getting better. Not only now and not only in response to George Floyd – but for always and in response to all injustice, inequity and divide.
Here are the books that I’m starting with:
How to Be an Antiracist (Ibram X. Kendi)
White Fragility (Robin Diangelo)
Waking Up White, and Finding Myself in the Story of Race (Debby Irving)
Between the World and Me (Ta-Nehisi Coates)
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Nice to Meet You!
My name is Angie Robinson. I am a coach, facilitator and consultant. I have a passion for partnering with others, helping them to be their best selves. I am known for having balanced judgment, making big picture connections, and building relationships.
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