Episode 70: The ABC's of Leadership | C = Connection
CONNECTION IS THE FOUNDATION
With true connection, we thrive.
Enjoy!
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(The notes below are only a brief summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email request to: angie@angie-robinson.com. We’d be happy to provide that!)
This week, we finish up the mini-series about the ABC’s of leadership. And of course – you can replace that word ‘leadership’ with ‘life’! The intent is to highlight some of, what I believe, are highly critical concepts and/or attributes in leadership – that are pivotal in creating the results you really want.
In Episode 68 – we covered letter A – which was Authentic. In Episode 69 - we talked about letter B - Blind Spots.
There are so many words that start with “c”! Words like: curiosity, compassion, confidence, courage, clarity and communication. For this episode - I have gone with the word Connection. Being a connected leader is one of my core beliefs – it’s really a foundation that supports all that I do in my coaching and leadership development work. It’s one of my very favorite concepts.
Note: See links below for additional relevant episodes.
When I think about “connection” – I think about it in this way:
YOU are in the center. The areas of connection that YOU should give attention to are:
Connection to self
Connection to others (peers, direct reports, those you report to, those that are not directly in your sphere)
Connection to the work
Before we look at these three areas of connection and why there are important in your leadership – let’s talk about why connection is important.
In short, human beings are social species and are wired to connect. According to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, besides food, water, and safety, love and belonging are the most important needs we must fulfill. Connection is a key ingredient in experiencing love and belonging.
You might be thinking…this talk about ‘love and belonging’ doesn’t have a place in business or leadership! I disagree - because you, leader, entrepreneur, CEO of your life…. you are a human. It doesn’t matter which “hat” you’re wearing….underneath it you are a human. And as we know – our brain goes with us wherever we go – no matter what “role” you are playing – it’s still there.
I like Brené Brown’s definition of connection. She says this:
“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
As I talk about connection – I want to be clear that I’m not only talking about connection between you and another person. Just as important is connection with yourself and with your work (whatever that means to you).
I encourage you to read Brene’s definition a few times through the different lenses of self, others and your work.
Some of the benefits of connection include:
Increased engagement
Increased productivity
Better ‘mood’
Strong relationships
Culture of trust
Diverse thinking
Understanding - more rounded knowledge of what is really going on
Again – think of those benefits through the three lenses. Also – without connection – the opposite of those will be true.
When we feel disconnected – we might sense a gap in our knowledge or in trust or belief or that we matter. When there are gaps – our brain makes up stories. The default is to go to unhelpful stories. Stories that create fear or lack of motivation.
Connection is so important for YOU, the leader. it will help you be a more present, authentic and effective leader.
Three Areas of Connection
Let’s look at the three lenses I’m asking you to look at connection through.
Connection to Self
My Inside Out Way to creating the leadership and life results you most want starts with this. When we are really connected to ourselves – we can more effectively connect to others.
So what do I mean by connection to self?
It’s self-awareness. It’s really understanding yourself.
Your strengths, your areas of opportunity, your blind spots.
Understanding how your experiences, demographics, etc. has shaped you.
Examining your beliefs and working on your limiting beliefs.
Being clear on your values and how they do or do not keep you aligned.
Gaging your own self-trust, self-belief and self-confidence.
Knowing who that future version of yourself is and how to make decisions from that place.
Owning what propels you forward and overcoming what you let get in your way.
Feeling like you are heard and valued – by YOU. And having your own back along the way.
Connection to Others
When I think about connection to others – I think about seeing others as a whole human and understanding who they are - - what personality style they have, what their motivators and detractors are, what their values are, what their strengths are and what is getting in their way of being their best. Connecting in that way supports you – as the leader – in creating a culture that honors them as a person.
Connecting with others has a number of byproducts:
Creates greater trust
Opens up space for influencing. Part of being a leader is having the ability to influence others in service of the greater good. I read where someone said that people allow us to influence them. I love that perspective. We can take the actions to influence – but whether or not the person is actually being influenced is up to them. When there is trust – because there is connection – the person may be more open to the influence.
Of course, this all leads to greater satisfaction, happiness, engagement and productivity.
This also leads to healthy cultures, team dynamics and psychological safety.
And it fills your cup even more.
Connection to the Work
Having a connection to the work that you do looks like understanding why you are doing it and liking your answer to questions like:
What are you supporting?
What is on the other side?
How are your gifts being used?
How do you feel when you are doing the work?
Do you believe in it?
How does it align with your values?
Honestly - I think you just know when there is connection or disconnection. When you are doing the work – do you have a pit in your stomach? Are you simply going through the motions? These could be signs that you aren’t connected.
There is a difference between mastering your work and having all of the skills necessary or needing to learn more and being connected. There is always a room to grow and learn. When you’re connected – you’re excited about the possibilities – even when you don’t know what the other side looks like or what the whole path is to get there. And it can get frustrating and rocky – but you still know it’s what you want to experience – so you push forward.
If the thought of learning more, etc. makes you want to crawl and hide – there probably isn’t a connection.
Why does this matter? When you feel connected to the work you are doing – you give it your all. You are engaged. You might get tired, but you’re satisfied.
When you are not – everything else around you suffers.
Final Thoughts
I encourage you to think about the three areas of connection from your identity as a leader. Connected to the leader part of you. Connected to those that you lead and serve. Connected to the leadership work you do.
When there isn’t connection with one of the three – it impacts all three areas.
If you aren’t connected to yourself – can you really be fully connected to others or the work?
If you aren’t creating connection with others – there is probably something happening within. And it may be harder to feel fully connected with the work – as others are part of your work – especially as a leader.
If you aren’t connected with the work – that will certainly impact your connection with others and create some dissonance with yourself.
Assess Your Connection:
On a scale of 1 – 10 (1 = totally disconnected / 10 = fully connected) – assess where you are. How connected to you feel in these three areas? There isn’t a right or a wrong – and everyone’s interpretation will be different. Your own perception is a way to get a baseline so you can decide where, if anywhere, you might want to focus on building that connection.
There are a lot of ways to get more connected in all areas. Here are just a few thoughts to get you started:
Get clear on your values. Use a tool like the Discover Your Values worksheet to help.
Complete the Satisfaction Snapshot
Take a personality assessment, such as Insights®
Lead with compassion and curiosity
Engage in a Coach
Connection really is the key differentiator in becoming the leader you want to be, the business owner you envision, to having the career you most desire.
What do you think?
How do you assess your connection in the areas of self, others and the work?
Links
Discover Your Values worksheet
Episode 07: The Magic of Knowing Your Values
Episode 12: The Magic of Compassion
Episode 13: The Magic of Curiosity
Episode 46: One Word Can Create Results
Episode 57: Making “Difficult” Conversations Less Difficult
Episode 61: Cultivating Self-Confidence
Episode 64: Why Clear is Kind in Leadership
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