Episode 32: Five Powerful Questions
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(The notes below are only a brief summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email request to: angie@angie-robinson.com. We’d be happy to provide that!)
To be effective and get the results you are looking for you - you really need to understand your existing situation and your perceived obstacles.
Things like goal-setting, clarifying your why and understanding what success looks like are very important (in fact - I do that will all of my clients!). But it goes beyond that. We need to go deeper.
There are a slew of great coaching questions to use to help yourself (and your employees) take ownership and open up perspectives. Coaching really IS about asking really good questions. Questions are the tool to get the results we want.
When we ask questions - our brain goes to work to find answers. The higher quality the questions, the higher quality the answers! If you ask questions that have a negative slant to them – your brain will likely give negative answers…
Is there a question that you ask yourself on a regular basis? Evaluate that – is it a powerful question or does it have a negative slant to it? Does it create inspired and creative answers?
One important thing to go over….we should never answer a question with “I don’t know. This is a concept that I first learned about from Brooke Castillo at The Life Coach School - and I just love it (however, my kids may not!).
“I don’t know” basically puts up a wall in your brain – or keeps it spinning in confusion (neither of which is moving forward). Other versions of this might sound like “I’m confused” or “I can’t decide”. When you answer questions like this - you are simply blocking yourself from tapping into your own wisdom. Even if you truly don’t know the answer at the moment, you could choose to say something more open, like “I’m figuring it out” or “I’m learning” or “If I did know, then…”
Okay – let’s get into the questions that I have found to be the most powerful. They tend to get a little bit deeper below the surface – helping to uncover blockers and bringing to light the unconscious thoughts from the primitive brain to the conscious awareness and to the prefrontal cortex, allowing us to look at the thoughts more objectively and be intentional about what to do with them (keep them, work to shift, adopt new thoughts).
This might be a good time to refer back to Episode 9: The Magic of Mindset to get a refresher on the Model. This shows how our thoughts generate feelings, which leads to our actions (or inactions) creating our results. Using powerful questions with the Model is everything.
The Questions
Be sure to listen to the episode to hear an example of a situation with these questions being used.
QUESTION ONE: What am I making it mean?
QUESTION TWO: What is the worst that can happen? Follow-Up: Can I live with the “worst”?
QUESTION THREE: What am I missing out on?
QUESTION FOUR: What if I’m wrong?
QUESTION FIVE: What would the future you (who already reached the results) tell you?
And here is a bonus question:
How is that thought serving me or not serving me?
One thing that is very key to good coaching (others or yourself) is the ability to hold space. Basically – holding space is to be present with someone, without judgment. It means you donate your ears and heart without wanting anything in return. It involves practicing empathy and compassion. It’s something that I am really conscious of in my coaching of others. But it also just as important when doing self-coaching.
We might want to instinctively offer our opinion, or a solution immediately.
Or when self-coaching, we easily judge ourselves, beat ourselves up, shut down, censor our thoughts or buffer.
In order to really get results, we need to hold space and allow for the thoughts and feelings to be processed.
Better questions provide better answers that lead to better results. Powerful questions will increase your consciousness and shift your energy…which will create helpful actions. All with intention.
What do you think?
What questions are you constantly asking yourself? Are they sprinkled with negative tones? Are they dead end questions?
What difference will powerful questions make in your life?
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