EP123: Understanding How the Fear of Success Can Impact You + Your Leadership
AFRAID TO SUCCEED?
Let’s bring some attention to it - the world needs your success!
Enjoy!
Listen Here:
(The notes below are only a brief bullet point summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email request to: angie@angie-robinson.com. We’d be happy to provide that!)
Although it’s not always the most uplifting topic, it is helpful to shed light on things that can get in the way of being the leader we want to be and/or achieving the things we want to achieve. I’m talking about barriers that go beyond skill-based gaps – like time management, delegation, presentations, understanding the financials, communication, etc. These are things that go a layer deeper that might influence the skills. They are belief, personality, character and behavior-based barriers.
Common Fears That Are Barriers
We know about the fear of failure. This fear might cause you to put off or avoid any activity or scenario that has the potential for an unsuccessful outcome. It is one reason that we might not take risks.
But what about the fear of success?? The fear of success can be easily confused with fear of failure because either one can keep you from reaching your full potential.
The fear of failure and the fear of success are both psychological experiences that can significantly impact an individual's mindset and behavior, but they stem from different underlying concerns:
Let’s look at the difference:
Fear of Failure:
Definition - (also known as atychiphobia) it is the apprehension or anxiety about not achieving desired goals or outcomes. This fear centers on the potential negative consequences or shortcomings associated with falling short of one's objectives. The fear of failure comes with an avoidance behavior. People experiencing fear of failure may avoid taking risks or pursuing opportunities due to concerns about making mistakes, facing criticism, or experiencing disappointment. It can be linked to issues of self-worth and can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem.
For example - someone might avoid applying for a promotion at work because they worry about not being qualified or fear the possibility of rejection.
Fear of Success:
Definition - (also known as achievemephobia or success anxiety) it is the apprehension or anxiety about achieving one's goals or fulfilling one's potential. This fear revolves around the potential consequences or changes associated with achieving success, rather than the failure to achieve it. The fear of success is often linked to other things, like imposter syndrome.
For example - someone might hesitate to take on a bigger role because they fear the added responsibilities and pressures that come with running a successful department.
Both fears involve anxiety about outcomes: the fear of failure is focused on the potential negative repercussions of falling short of goals, while the fear of success is centered on the potential changes or consequences of achieving those goals.
The Fear of Success: Deeper Dive
The fear of success is not talked about as much – it’s not the default. And actually – you might not even realize it’s a thing because it seems so counter intuitive and it’s more subtle and harder to recognize.
On the surface, it doesn’t make sense to be afraid of achieving what you want to achieve. If someone said to you: if you had a magic wand and you could have the role you want, the money you want, the goals you want to achieve - would you take it? The answer is yes!
But sometimes something holds us back.
What Are We Afraid Of?
Much of the fear is rooted in “imposter syndrome” - where individuals doubt their abilities and fear being exposed as frauds despite their accomplishments. This often comes from a lack of worthiness or being undeserving.
Here are some of the possible fears:
Fear of change and uncertainty: not knowing what might change when there is success – change in life overall, relationships, roles, etc. This could leave a lot of open questions, such as: What will it take to get there? What will I have to give up if I become successful? This could lead to a fear of rejection or abandonment.
Fear of visibility: when visible - there could be the worry about what people will think. More specifically - there could be a shift or a loss in identity. This might generate questions like: What does that mean about me? Will I be a different person? Will I like that person? Will others like that person? Do I have to become someone else? Will it make me less successful in other areas in life? Who won’t stay with me? Who won’t want to grow with me?
Fear of judgement: The worry that others will expect great things from you and increase their scrutiny and judgment of how you perform, leading to the question: Will I really be able to sustain this performance?
Fear of losing control: Success can come with added responsibilities, pressures or expectations – you could lose control over your life and/or being overwhelmed by the new demands that could come with the success.
As a result:
You might stay “safe” because it’s easier to stay small.
You self-sabotage. This comes in many forms. It could look like procrastination or failure to complete assignments/duties. It could be turning down important opportunities. It could be undermining yourself to prove why more success is just out of their reach. This can lead to and feed into comparison, lack of confidence, people-pleasing, perfectionism, etc.
What You Can Do
Elevate awareness - without judgement
Ask good questions, including the ones mentioned earlier - and adding: What am I making it mean about me? In what other ways have you been successful without those other things happening?
Answer the questions. Challenge yourself with uncovering what else could be true and getting clear on what the worst thing that could happen.
Tap into your future self. What would the person who reached the goal and had the ‘success’ tell you?
Get clear on your definition of success. You decide what success means to you - not what other people’s definition is.
Assess and work on things like self-trust and self-belief. This will feed into confidence and help with people-pleasing and perfectionism.
The Final Word
There isn't a magic wand or a class that you can take to overcome the fear of success. But here's what I know. Your team needs you, your business needs you, your organization needs you, the world needs you. The world needs you in your fullest potential. We need your gifts. We need your inspiration. We need you at your fullest self. And if fear of success is holding you back - it’s worth the time and energy to overcome it.
What Do You Think?
Do you have a fear of success? How does that show up? What might you do about it?
Links
Episode 23: Who Do I Think I Am (aka Imposter Syndrome)
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