Episode 12: The Magic of Compassion [in Leadership]
Soften The Judgment
One of the most impactful human skills any leader (person) can practice is compassion. In this episode - we dig into it.
Enjoy!
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(The notes below are only a brief summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email request to: angie@angie-robinson.com. We’d be happy to provide that!)
As talked about in Episode 03: The Fundamentals of Leadership (According to Me), I talked about what I believe are the most important skills and attributes a leader can have. Compassion is one of those.
Our brains tends to make snap judgements based on our own experiences and beliefs. Let’s say, for example, you are running a team meeting and one of your employees doesn’t seem to be paying attention. Your brain will likely offer you quick judgments - like “that employee is disengaged” or “they don’t seem to care about their job”. If you don’t challenge those judgments, you will just go about your day holding onto those judgments. They will likely drive how you behave or treat that employee. With compassion - we can influence our actions in a way that better serves.
The meaning of COMPASSION is sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it. If someone shows kindness, caring, and a willingness to help others, they're showing compassion.
In her new book, Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown defines compassion as this: “the daily practice of recognizing and accepting our shared humanity so that we treat ourselves and others with loving-kindness, and we take action in the face of suffering.”
She goes on to say that “it is fueled by understanding and accepting that we are all made of strength and struggle. No one is immune to pain or suffering. Compassion is not a practice of “better than” or “I can fix you” – it’s a practice based in the beauty and pain of shared humanity.”
It’s helpful to point out that compassion is different than empathy. Brene Brown says that “compassion is a daily practice and empathy is a skill set that is one of the most powerful tools of compassion.”
To truly practice compassion, there needs to be action. At a minimum – that action can simply be questioning your reactions and sharing your thoughts.
Compassion is a leadership AND life skill. The latest research shows that focusing on compassion and mental health leads to strong, sustainable leadership. It also leads to greater self-awareness.
As we know - the world is constantly evolving. In the new workplace, people on your teams are facing more ambiguity in day-to-day tasks. They also feel the pressure to keep up with changes in their personal and professional lives.
Practicing compassion in your leadership is crucial. It has have proven effects on employee happiness, retention, and overall well-being.
Companies need capable, empowered employees working together to solve problems and identify opportunities. We can empathize with why a team member is struggling, but ultimately we still need performance. The action component of compassion is what makes it work. It takes a clear-eyed view of what a team member is doing and where they are falling short and looks for ways to help them get past struggling.
Understanding what your people need to succeed and having the desire to help them succeed is fundamental to servant leadership. Compassion and self-compassion help leaders create an environment where growth can happen. Research has shown that practicing compassion not only makes the individual happier, it also creates an environment that elevates everyone around them.
And honestly – it’s just the kind, human thing to do.
Compassion allows us to get curious. It can soften our judgments (which can often be uniformed and harsh). It puts care and humanity in the forefront. It enables us to move from judgement to acceptance and embrace everyone as equal humans. It creates trust, builds connection and increases collaboration.
Every person desires it and deserves it. It has a profound impact on the person receiving it and the person giving it.
So, why might someone NOT want to practice compassion?
There can be a false belief that practicing compassion means that you are ‘excusing’ any unacceptable behavior that might be occurring. But actually, it doesn’t prevent you from having their own emotional reaction – but does soften judgment. A person can both disagree with something AND have compassion – it doesn’t have to be either /or.
Compassion will cultivate a reaction and response from a place of curiosity and love vs. anger or fear.
How can you practice compassion?
It’s easy to put labels on people – but you can train your brain to recognize that there are layers to be uncovered. Here are a few things to consider:
Start with yourself. We are often hardest on ourselves. It’s more difficult to be compassionate toward others if we can’t do it with ourself. The change starts within. Practices that help us connect more to our own values can increase both our sympathetic concern and our intention to help.
Challenge your beliefs and biases. Ask things like: why do I believe what I believe? What am I missing? Get curious and go deeper and question your own assumptions.
Put the ego aside. Watch for thinking things like “If I were them, I would…” or “I had it worse when…”
Work with a coach
I love this quote when thinking about the impact of compassion:
“Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions can have far-reaching effects.”
Compassion has a ripple effect - and judgement does too. Remember this: how we think and how we react is a choice. We get to decide how we want to contribute to the human experience – to our employee’s experience. Do we want to choose compassion or judgment?
What do you think?
Are you aware of what judgments your brain offers you?
Do you practice compassion with those you lead?
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